They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
