she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
