Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
