hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
