Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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