he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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