i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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