ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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