remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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