You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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