Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
