I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
