I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
