Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
