sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
