Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
