Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
