I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
