Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
