Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
