Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
