I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
