Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
