Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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