dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
