This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
