I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
