he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
