When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
