If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
