Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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