i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
