Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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