He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
