UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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