i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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