Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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