So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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