Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
