i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
