just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
