Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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