Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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