FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
