She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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