Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
