so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
