My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
