he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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