Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
