real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
