i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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