On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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